Save Yourself
by xxXX1trueloveXXxx
Summary: Basically, parabatai are my favorite thing in the whole world. Like we're talking right up there with the shadow-kissed bond. Also sometimes I think people don't give Alec and Jace enough love (brotp!) and Simon would be able to see that...


I came across this post on Pinterest about a professor saying basically Simon's lines to his class. I wanted to send some love and encouragement to my friends (and now the world), and it spoke to me as something that needed to be heard right now. 1050 words of feels at you!

Finding a fandom that fit was tricky because I wanted to stay true to each of the characters in the scene. I haven't finished reading all the recent Shadowhunter books, but I think this could fit in anywhere for either (books or TV). Enjoy and remember to love yourself!

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**Save Yourself**

The steps were quiet compared to the bustle inside. He was hunched over in his gear, arms wrapped around his legs with his chin resting on his knees. How someone so tall could compact themselves so much always baffled Jace. Jace wasn't surprised to find Alec out here like that. Alec never liked crowds or strangers and the Claves near assault of new people gathering in the institute left him feeling out of step. Jace's lips pulled into a crooked smile at the thought; pleased he could feel Alec's feelings so easily. They were opposites in this as they were in almost everything. Jace loved crowds and the certain attentions that new people brought him. After the past few days though, there was a peacefulness in Alec out here that called to Jace.

Jace sat quietly beside Alec, just barely brushing shoulders. In the stillness Jace could feel his heart slow to match Alec's steady calm, subconsciously leaning into each other. They were each other's haven, where the _parabatai_ could simply just be. Whispered thoughts and feelings flowed openly between the two for the first time in a long time. They were both happy to bask in the feelings of their _parabatai_ bond. It made the act of speaking feel unnecessary and more for clarification, if even needed. Like right now, there was peace and calm that shifted easily between the two. Then maybe from Alec…awe?

In response Alec whispered, "It's crazy how much can go wrong in such a short amount of time."

"Usually not when I'm involved…" The bite that would have usually accompanied such a statement from Jace was missing. He seemed oddly hesitant, "like us?"

Alec couldn't help but grin as warmth filled him despite the chilly air, "Yeah. We're good."

"Always good." It was fact for both, even when it wasn't.

The silence remained content to just be their own but together. Alec was curled up staring at nothing in particular ahead of him. He couldn't help a tight smile as he sensed Jace's sprawled form fidgeting beside him. Jace was absentmindedly busying his hands with a hem, the steps, and of course his stele. Alec knew Jace wasn't nervous or upset which people often mistook his constant movements for. Jace was just Jace. Always alert. Aware. Ready. Energized. Somehow, though only Alec would know it, always bit paranoid or on edge. Those little aspects of Jace were oddly comforting to him too.

Alec could have been a statute in comparison. Jace was always intrigued by how even Alec's breathing could slow to an almost undetectable movement. Everything about Alec was meditative precision in these moments and in battle. Always steady. Still. Focused. Controlled. There was an unspoken dependability for and on each other, much like the frustration of speaking emotional sentences. They were working on it. Jace could feel before Alec started, "It's great to have you…here, you know…I just…I'm sorry." It came out rushed but heartfelt. Guilt was a shared constant companion within their bond.

"You don't have to be, but I am too." Jace quipped easily, bumping their shoulders.

"I guess. I'm just sorry I couldn't–"

Jace cut Alec off. Not willing to let Alec's thoughts run down the paths they so easily always did, "Me too. I wasn't–"

"You can't always." Alec bumped Jace's should back in retaliation; and just like that it was settled. The silence and bond enveloping them both.

Quick purposefully footsteps started coming towards them. Neither cared with so many emotions and memories consuming them and their _parabatai_ bond.

"Wow. I thought by now I would have heard some sort of scathing comment about my presence." It was Simon. He wasn't wrong. As if sensing the mood, he slowed his approach and finally came to a stop in front of them both. "I don't know what you two are doing out here, but I'm supposed to meet Clary in a few, just so you know."

Jace just shrugged and Alec nodded as if they didn't even really hear him.

"Shadowhunter reunion is going well for everyone I see. Clary has been texting me about the lectures that never end. I'm guessing you're getting them too?" When nothing changed Simon continued frowning, "Izzy told me once, 'heaviest is the head that wears the crown' but it really should be 'wears the cape' with you guys."

Two sets of puzzled eyes looked up and met his, followed by a wave of exhaustion with dash of defeated acceptance that came off the _parabatai_ and onto him. Simon sighed thinking about everything he had seen and learned about Shadowhunters since entering the supernatural world. He figured he'd have similar feelings if he were in their shoes too. Hell, he had similar in his own shoes. They were staring off again as if he wasn't there.

Simon's phone buzzed with a message. It must have said something that prompted him to sit down on the steps below them. He sat sideways across the steps facing both boys, stretching out his legs along them and propped himself up on his elbows. Simon was gonna be here for a bit it seemed. He also decided that he might as well explain himself and Izzy's misquoted Shakespeare as best he could.

"You guys, Shadowhunters, are like superheroes. Saving the world from the big bad uglies." The _parabatai_ had turned their heads always quick to resent his comic book based statements, "You two especially have a little bit of 'I want to save the world' in you. I've seen it countless times, but well…you're only human." Simon's voice quieted making it lack the humor he meant it to have.

The words were hung heavily in the air as if being heard aloud strengthened their truth. Both boys moved eerily back into the silent positions he had found them in. Simon could see the weight of everything had started to weave dark threads into their thoughts. He watched them trying to place what was creeping him out while not letting him look away, especially if they were just going to ignore him. Sitting side by side Simon could really see the striking physical contrast they made, the kind that would distract Clary, and for the first time he saw their similarities. Simon was surprised when he could follow the almost imperceptible emotions of a mute conversation taking place between the parabatai. At the same time, he realized they weren't ignoring him, but processing everything mentally together. It was breathtaking because it was so inhuman. They were both strong warriors with angelic heritage that somehow shared two souls, but they were teens made of flesh, bone, and blood too. It was heartbreaking because they were so human. He wondered if they even realized it or how often it was forgotten. He vowed to never let them, "You should know it's okay if you save only one person, and it's okay if that one person is you."

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Thanks for reading! Comments and prompts to help me write better are always welcome!


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